a change of perspective.

as i am writing this post, i have no idea what i am going to write. today has been, for a lack of a better word, rough. there have been crazy emotions, lots of tears, and honestly, for the most part i have just been wishing that i could crawl back into the solitude of my bed and hide under the covers to let the storm pass, however, that hasn't been an option- life continues to go on with or without my permission. which then brings me back to square one. timing. i have this problem, i would like to call it sin. because that is what it is. i am a sinner. i would rather take things, put them in a box, and then open them and arrange them how i see fit... but that is not the answer. i am not my rule maker. i am not the Perfect planner. i am not the Creator of the universe... thankfully, those titles have been fulfilled and that role is taken by Him. in all things, in all walks of my life, on whatever path He leads me- i am not alone. i have a Comforter, Healer, and King walking along the path with me. and for that i am eternally grateful.

even when my walk is not as it should be, being honest right now- it isn't... and in all things He is getting the glory- me falling apart right now? all because i am trying to run my life without Him... fail. my sin? trying to plan, create, and run things on my own time-line. not okay. when things don't go by my time, i should be praising Him- because my spectrum of sight is so small... i mean for real, think about it- would you rather have someone who has been around since the beginning of time planning your life or someone who has been on the earth for 20 years? ... i know- tough choice. when i start to feel the need for control i need to step back, take a deep breath, and gain some perspective.

tonight, while the world was going crazy around me, the only thing i could think about was praying. though i didn't even have the words to pray- i just felt my heart open and flood gates (literally) coming from my eyes. His provisions have provided me with people to pour into my life and my heart, and i was able to talk to a dear friend for a while and just have her pray for me, my family, and for sean and just cover us in prayer. at the end of our conversation i just felt relief and happiness. big sighs of relief and an ability to take deep breaths. i am so thankful for Him and the people that he has put into my life. i am also thankful for the catharsis of being able to write... i also apologize for the errors and typos that are all over this post, though, to be honest, i just don't feel like going back and editing them right now... maybe later... maybe. i don't know what it is about writing for me, but it has always been a way for me to get out my thoughts so that i can actually see what i am thinking... though sometimes i am not always so happy with what i find.

one thing that is for certain is that God is sovereign and has His hand over all things, sees my weakness and is here to comfort and protect me. i pray that i will not be so quick to be a negative nancy... but would, instead, try and be a postive patty in all that i do. thanks friends for reading this and thanks in advance for praying. i am still trying to work through issues my parents have with each other and trying to deal with the effects of that and how that looks in my life- sometimes it is easier than others. i do know, that my Father is here, with me, has penned the perfect story for my life- and that, is how i find rest. 

praise God from whom all blessings flow; praise Him, all creatures here below, praise Him above ye heavenly host; praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. amen.

for His glory until the end.

just a thought.

two faces of my summer.

this summer i have been spending a whole lot of time with two precious girls and decided that something fun to do would be to do a photo-shoot and then use some of the pictures around their house for some updating [since they don't have too many recent photos of the girls, at least, not that i can see] and do make special notecards for their mom and dad. we haven't made the cards yet, but the pictures are all finished. i'm sean and i are going to be putting together their new [big girl] desks for their room while they are off to denmark and i plan on leaving them some cards for when they return (since that will be after i leave for clemson!). their new desks have cork board on them so i'm going to leave the cards tacked on the cork board as a surprise! alexandra doesn't know it yet, but she will also be receiving "miss alex's old lamp" as her mom has been referring to it- it matches the one that caroline has now, and it looks good in their room- plus, i have no use for a pink lamp anymore [thank goodness].

let me introduce you to "my girls"...

alexandra: 

loud, genuinely funny (even though she is 5), tons of t.r.o.u.b.l.e. sweet, loves chips and sprinkle cheese, enjoys listening to "chicken fried" by zac brown band

caroline:

helpful, precious, understanding [most of the time], seven going on sixteen, prefers her chips without cheese, loves listening to taylor swift- in particular- "our song"

such precious girls. i'm so glad that i was able to spend time with them this summer- i have been watching them since alexandra was 1 [or "zero" as she likes to call it] and caroline was 3.

just a thought.

[not so] wordless wednesday- birthday recap.

as promised [though a bit overdue!] here is my post about my birthday:

for my birthday i went downtown and had lunch with my mother at bocci's italian restaurant- it was delicious! then we walked around for a bit and did some window shopping. later that evening a group of people went over to a hibachi restaurant called yamato's- delicious. 

it was a fun, relaxed day- which was just what i needed! i'm so thankful for my family and friends who celebrated the day with me! i got way too many presents, but i will for sure use them! 

linking up with a beautiful mess: wordless wednesday.

have a great wednesday!

just a thought.

miscellany monday.

click to head over and link up!

[1] leggings are not pants. 

i don't know why this trend bothers me so much, but it does... and leggings are not pants, therefore- they should not be worn as such.

[2] nannying venture. 

i spent thursday through saturday with 2 girls that i babysit for while their parents (who i love... a lot) went away for a couple of days to spend time with each other. it was lovely. i love their girls, and once again- i continue to gain respect for stay at home moms. not that they were bad, it is just tiring (i guess that's a "duh" statement).

[3] nap time. 

yesterday i took a 3.5 hour nap after church. this is not a coincedence that i just posted this after my nanny time- i was just. that. tired.

[4] hiccups. 

when i get the hiccups i get them for a really, really long time. i have them right now, which is making it very difficult to write right now. what's your favorite method to get rid of them?

[5] change of scenery.

in 18 days i will be moving back up to clemson. bittersweet. love clemson and my fabulous friends, but i will miss charleston a lot too. trying to find joy and peace, and most of all- rest in Him.

[6] still hiccuping.

help me!

[7] wii master.

i got a wii for my birthday- i am so excited! i only have one game right now (because those things are super pricey!)- but i am looking forward to getting more and playing with fun friends!

[8] heat wave.
today i was watching the news and it said that the heat index for today is going to between 115 and 118 degrees... excuse me, but that is crazy hot- the pool will be so welcomed today, if it doesn't boil over first [side note: i know that it won't really boil over, just didn't want you to think that i believed that].

that's all for today! have a great monday!

randomness is meant to be shared- so don't forget to link up!

just a thought.

perfect match.

while walking through the grocery store the other day i stumbled upon a cookbook that i simply have-to-have! i cannot wait to buy it... i am trying to find the best deal- at the store it was around $18... i have already found it for $12 online with free shipping if i purchase something else with it, so we shall see. at any rate, what is this fabulous find?
let me introduce you...

[photo credit]

perfect match? i think so! chicken is my favorite food [in the entire world] and i am dying to have this cookbook... also- the interesting part? it came out exactly a week before my birthday, meaning- that it was the perfect birthday present for me, it just so happens that no one else but me found it- which is alright, because i got some pretty amazing things [full post about birthday will come, pinky promise]. so, if you want to get your hands on this little baby you should first sign up for an ebates account by clicking here and then going to order it off of barnes and noble. 

why the ebates plug, you might ask? well, you can get a small percentage of what you buy at barnes and noble back with ebates- money in the bank. [quite literally!]

linking up with 6 inches of ribbon.

link up and share your "fabulousness" with the world!

just a thought.

wordless wednesday.

linking up with alicia at a beautiful mess for wordless wednesday... because let's face it- sometimes a picture is all you need!

in light of the fact that yesterday was my birthday, i thought i'd post this picture! circa 1991 at my first birthday party.

just a thought.

top two tuesday.

this week's topic is...

top 2 things you want to purchase

seeing as i don't really like to spend money on things... i know, it is weird, but true... i don't really know what i would want to buy, however, since it is my birthday golden birthday [turning 20 on the 20th], i will go with my top 2 "wants" [i.e. things i would love to receive for my birthday] right now are...

[one] an iHome. i know that everyone and their mama has one right now, but i don't- and i still think that it would be useful to have one... they come in black and silver... which would you prefer?

[photo credit]

[two] subaru outback [in moss green, preferably...]. i would love to get one of these for my birthday... [ha ha] there is no way... but, in case you haven't noticed, green is my favorite color... and i love this shade of it and i love this car, thus- it is the perfect fit [i wish]... but hey, since it is my birthday, i will go ahead and dream big... so lovely. this one happens to be for sale in the charleston area... maybe i'll just head right over and give myself a present... [sigh]

[photo credit]

what are your "top 2 purchases"? link up and let everyone know!

i've been so blessed with such incredible people in my life and i am so thankful that i get to spend today with them- i will certainly post about my day later this week and i'll be sure to let you know if i get one of my "top 2's"... [insert big sigh]. have a great tuesday!

just a thought.

miscellany monday.

linking up for my favorite start to the week! trying to keep things interesting and random, as always... click below to link up!

[one] white v-necks. if i could spend my life in comfy-cozy white v-necks, i would. they are so comfortable to throw on and they come in a pack of five, which means that they are great for painting and doing projects that you don't mind getting messy in because they come with tons of spares! 

[please excuse the man who is in this picture... i couldn't find one of just a shirt!] 

 [photo credit]

[two] kilz primer. is difficult impossible to get off... i can't stand it. you use it one day and then you spend 2 or 3 trying to get it off! however, it is the best... so i guess i shouldn't complain.

[three] refinishing. yes, since "two" is about kilz, i have done some refinishing and refurbishing of my furniture- it is looking great! i can't wait to post some pictures later this week!

[four] the bachelorette [again]. i'm sorry friends- i just can't help it... i feel the need to keep those of you who miss the show [or don't watch it... shame on you] updated... let's just say that tonight it is going to be intense... [or so abc would like us to think]... either way, i cannot wait. 8pm, abc- see you there. who do you think will leave this week?

[five] cruise. i have never been on a cruise... i really want to go on one. they look so glamorous [confession: i just had to sing the song in order to spell that g-l-a-m-o-r-ous] however, i am just a bit worried that i would get sea sick and then be miserable for the entire trip... if i go on a cruise i will pray that i don't have an issue with that.

[six] karaoke. i want to sing karaoke really bad... so fun... or at least, in my mind it would be fun- maybe if people started "booing" me it wouldn't be so fun... but, since in my mind people are friendly, karaoke seems quite enjoyable.

[seven] happy birthday to me. tomorrow is my birthday... here are some pictures from last year's birthday...

[top left: me and aunt eloise- my great aunt, i love this woman... if i ever have a daughter i want to name her mary eloise after her- don't steal it. top right: me and sean pre-movie (harry potter) and supper (rb's seafood-delicious) bottom right: my scrumptious cake i designed (not decorated, simply designed) bottom left: me eating the scrumptious cake... it was really good!]

[eight] button up. i now have a button... grab it! i made it last week after i found a helpful "how to" and got it up in no time... so fun!

[nine] pretty paperie. natalie over at the busy budgeting mama has a fabulous new etsy shop for personalized paper products [like the alliteration!?] and things that will make your next party fabulous! it is called pretty paperie... go check it out! make sure to visit her blog because she has a giveaway going on for some fabulous paper products, you don't want to miss it!

happy monday! don't forget to link up and spread the miscellany! 

just a thought.

top two tuesday.

linking up again this tuesday!

top two favorite summer recipes

[one] lemonade with berry ice cubes

as previously discussed on my blog, i love lemonade... however- my favorite is lemonade with any sort of "berry addition"... so this is perfect! i'm sure you can imagine how to make this tasty treat, however- you can find the recipe here.

[two] italian chicken salad

this looks de-li-cious... yum. i eat chicken probably everyday... i love it and all of the different ways that it can be prepared- i think that this looks scrumptious! this recipe can be found here.

[both recipes and pictures came from family fun- go check it out, they have lots of fun ideas!]

be sure to go visit taylor's blog and link up!

just a thought.

miscellany monday.

{1} my favorite earrings are from ukraine... i have had them since i was 15- and i love them. i wear them all the time because they go with everything [or so i try to convince myself].

 [notice the jewelry tree? i just love it- my jewelry looks like ornaments on the tree!]

{2} the skinner girls always have "rainbow chip cookies"... that's what we all call them- but i just love them. we used to always have a snack when we got home from school (because we carpooled... so sweet) and now when i go to their house i grab one from the jar- it is tradition.

 [photo credit]

{3} lemonade is my absolute favorite drink for the summer time [or really anytime... but especially for the summer]. it is also a staple when nannying for two little ones- we went through a lot of crystal light last week. it also comes in little packets that you can take with you for the water bottle. love it.

 [photo credit] 

{4} i have a specific seat in the kitchen. it has always been my seat and i'm not too great at sharing... so it still bothers me when people sit in it when i am home and i have to adjust... i know that this is ridiculous, but it is just a fact of life. i'm working on it.

{5} i'm getting ready to do some major painting to some furniture for my apartment... the paint has been purchased and i am all geared up to paint- can't wait for this restoration- i'll be sure to take pictures!

{6} listening to classical music helps me focus... right now i am listening to it as i write- i am also finding myself type to the tune of the music- which is very interesting to hear.

{7} i finally went fishing! we went out last thursday after i got out of work- it was wonderful! i didn't catch anything [though i did feed some fish with my bait, you're welcome fish...], sean caught one red and truman caught two reds... though i did have a great time! so i guess that's the most important part!

{8} my birthday is in exactly one week and one day... i haven't really thought too much about my birthday, but i am pretty excited! fun fact: truman (pictured above, holding fish) and i have the same birthday... though we are 49 years apart!

have a happy monday- make sure to link up and post some random!

just a thought. 

boone hall+dinner.

for our one year date sean and i went to boone hall plantation- it is about 3 minutes from my house, i've been there a few times (sean didn't know that-however, when you live that close to something- you're bound to go on a field trip or two) but sean hadn't ever been there, so it was fun! we got to walk around the property, , take a tour of the house (beautiful), see a gullah presentation (which was interesting and also funny), take a little carriage tour of the place, and look at some horses... a major bonus to the day was that the weather was so beautiful- seriously- weather in charleston on the 3rd of july is not beautiful... you certainly don't get to walk around at leisure outside... but we did. it was wonderful. perfection.  

[sidenote: recognize the house in the picture? it is ali's house from the notebook... yep- i actually heard a girl say, "just the fact that the notebook was filmed here makes me like it"... oh, pop culture.]

that morning sean surprised me by having roses around my house and a jewelry tree filled with notes on it (so great, plus i get to use the tree to hang jewelry!) and a vase of flowers beside it! after walking around the plantation we went to california dreaming for supper... it is my favorite place in the whole-wide world... ok, so maybe not the whole-wide world- but pretty close. i had a delicious chicken dish and it was fabulous. all in all, a perfect saturday was had by all! it was so wonderful!

just a thought.

lovely giveaway.

do you remember a long time ago when i confessed that i love baby stuff? if not- it was in this post... at any rate- i do love baby things- coincidentally (or not so coincidentally) the busy budgeting mama is hosting a giveaway of adorable baby slings.

now, i realize that i am not expecting a baby any time soon... but it just so happens that my step-mother is expecting a baby due in the end of october or beginning of november- so this would be the perfect little gift, considering she already has to deal with matthew and liam (who are both precious, might i add).

take a look at their shop here... and look below for a sample of their adorable slings!

see what i mean? so cute... i think that the yellow stripe is just wonderful. click the button below to check out her blog!

just a thought.

top two tuesday.

i'm linking up with the undomestic momma for "top 2 tuesday"

top 2 favorite purchases made this year

{1} slide on chacos. these shoes have been my favorite purchase of the summer- by far. they are so comfortable and look "less mountain woman" than my other pair [according to my mother].

{2}insulated tote bag. this bag was such a great purchase- it is perfect for taking drinks and snacks to the pool without having to take a huge cooler- plus there are pockets and zippers inside for sunscreen and cellphone without getting wet! i'd take this to the pool any day over a cooler...[it is smaller than it looks!]

don't forget to go and check out the undomestic momma!

just a thought.

miscellany monday.

[one] roller coasters. i love them. they are so much fun and i haven't ridden one in a couple of years- i hope that will change this year! the first roller coaster i ever rode was at carrowinds and it was called "top gun" i was scared to pieces before i got on, cried the whole time, and then, once it was over i asked to go on it again. loved them ever since.

[two] real life song and dance. i would love it if at some point in my life a giant room could all do the same song and dance- i just think it would be amazing. after seeing slum dog millionaire i declared that i was going to make a dvd of the ending song and mail it to my friends for us to do at my wedding... i don't think that will happen- but you never know!

[three] ebay. since i have been finding some crazy good deals on ebay, i know like to check it all the time (not really all the time... but fairly frequently) as of right now i have ten kitchen aid mixers that i'm "watching"... i am hoping to get a good deal for mother (don't worry- this isn't going to spoil her surprise, she doesn't read my blog... she doesn't really understand how it works- bless her) and possibly one for me too!

[four] the bachelorette. i know that i have confessed my love for the show before, but i feel so guilty about it that i am going to do it again... i almost refer to the show as "having plans"... don't worry- it isn't really that bad... but it is almost an issue. i just can't help it... and this week is going to be intense... i have a date with abc at 8pm tonight- don't judge.

[five] makeover. i have some bookcases, an end table, and a kitchen table that all need some lovin' and a makeover... i am thinking about tackling that task this week before i nanny from 12-5:30- but we shall see.

[six] boone hall. this weekend sean and i went to boone hall plantation for our one year date- expect a post with some pictures this week!

[seven] redesign. i've redesigned my blog... still doesn't have everything that i want... i'm trying to figure out a button situation- but what do you think?

[eight] ebates. have you ever heard of ebates? it is this fabulous deal where you create an account through this company and then you get a small percentage of your money back when you shop at certain stores... check it out here!

that's all for now- have a happy monday!

just a thought.

four seasons.

today marks the day that sean and i started dating a year ago- so i just thought that i would take some time to recognize that on my blog. we always talked about dating in "seasons" and looking forward to completing "four seasons" with each other because in that span of time we would really get to know different sides of one another- let me just disclaimer that at times i am not always incredibly pleasant to deal with- but sean has been a champ and loved me and encouraged me! about the pictures:

[summer] this picture was taken in my foyer of my house right before sean took me out for my birthday dinner last summer.

[fall] we spent halloween in chapin because that's sean's step-dad's birthday- we carved a pumpkin and named him charlie- this was one of many pictures that we took with our pumpkin!

[winter] this picture was also taken in chapin over valentine's day weekend- it snowed all over the state of south carolina, but the columbia area got the most snow. every tree around us was covered in snow- it looked like a christmas card!

[spring] this one is from my friend maegan's wedding up in clemson- believe it or not this is one of the few pictures i have of us from this season- glad i at least have this one!

i can truly say that this past year has flown by! i can remember the exact details of our first date like it was yesterday. (however, in 50 years i'm sure they'll be a little fuzzy!) i'm so thankful for this man and his leadership in our relationship! thanks for letting me share a little bit about me!

just a thought.

fabulous finds friday.

ashley over at 6 inches of ribbon has a great link party going on and i love being part of it! last week i couldn't participate because i was out of town without my camera to upload the pictures of my finds! so, this week i'm going to make up for it by having a few "fabulous finds"!

{1} my first find[s] are some silver picture frames from marshalls... the original plan was to buy the ones from potterybarn because they are simple and cute, however- their price tag was all sorts of crazy- luckily marshalls saved the day and we were able to get some at a fraction of the price!

all of these frames were between $4.99 and $7.99- such a deal, considering the ones at potterybarn started at $14!

{2} second find[s] are some wonderful black picture frames to do a photo wall along the stairwell- i haven't hung them yet, but i've got them in frames- still searching for more pictures and frames to add to the wall. once again- these are from marshalls (i promise i shop other places, however my mother is a huge fan of marshalls- that's actually an understatement!)

these frames all ranged from $5.99 to $12.99- such fabulous prices!

{3} my third find is actually part of my birthday present (my birthday isn't until the end of july, but i will explain!). a while back i saw this purse in a local store that i loved, but the price was almost $300... and that is just not part of my budget, so i decided that i would just look around when shopping and see if i liked anything as much as or more than the original find- i never found anything that came close... so i just decided not to worry about it, i have a straw bag that i could carry for the rest of the summer until something better comes along.

meanwhile, my mother found a purse at dillards that she thought i might like so she got it and wrapped it up as a birthday present- then, just while browsing through ebay i found the original purse for $80! i wasn't going to buy it but i just casually mentioned it to my mother and she said that if i really liked it i should buy it (so out of character for me to spend any money on something, but i decided to take the plunge and do it) then i found out about the other purse she bought me (of which i couldn't stand) so mother returned the other purse and ended up saving money because the ebay purse was cheaper! wow... that took a whole lot of explaining!

[side bar: i still think that $80 is expensive, but the last purse that i bought was my junior year of high school from china town in new york... it is falling apart and i actually stapled the inside lining so that it would stay together!]

there it is! i love it because it is green (my favorite) and also neutral, so it goes with everything!

that's all for today! make sure to go and check out ashley's blog!

just a thought.

bunches of beads.

this week i have been babysitting two of my favorite girls- they are really just precious (though sometimes a lot to handle- but let's face it- aren't we all at some point!?) and so fun to hang out with. caroline is 7 and alexandra is 5- i've been watching them since they were 3 and 1, respectively. at some point in the day miss alex (me) had a great idea to bust out the perler beads [the beads that you put on a template and then iron them to make it stay together... i know- who knew that those had an official name?] and try and create something wonderful... yikes- had i known the strife we were going to have with this craft i would have suggested coloring or playdough. just in case you have no idea what i'm talking about- look below:

[photo credit]

my first thought upon looking at this picture was "what the heck!?" because who in their right mind decides to make a bunch of mario characters from iron-together beads... but then i thought about the fact that someone had to sit hunched over for hours upon hours to create those... i now pity that person. these little beads are quite tricky- the slip all over the place and have a huge resistance to actually going into the desired peg- then, once you get them all finished you must hold it completely still because one wrong move and all the beads are on the floor and you have 2 screaming girls [not that i'm speaking from experience or anything].

the moral of this story: approach perler beads with extreme caution or you might end up having to create a lot of pieces of "art" because you're the only one who can put the beads "in the right spot" [again- not that i'm speaking from experience] (ok... maybe i am)

happy thursday- and happy july! i can't believe it is already thursday! these 8 to 6 days are really putting me behind on school work and blogging- please forgive me blogging friends- i am trying to read blogs- it just seems that there isn't always enough time in the day!

just a thought.