happy valentine's day!

 

enjoy this valentine that my mama sent me! i was always that little girl growing up... haha.

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.  And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus,  in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.
-Ephesians 2:4-7

just a thought.

miscellany monday- engagement edition.

i'm linking up with carissa...
but i must admit that my post isn't so random today!

[1] on friday sean came to my house with sunflowers (my favorite flower) and then we went to cypress gardens for a mystery date.

[2] we went for a walk and ended up at a pretty white gazebo. 

[3] we went inside to have lunch, before lunch sean gave me a photo album with over 100 pictures of us throughout the time we have been dating.

[4] he then started talking to me about what it means to love and serve one another in marriage and how he wants to love and serve me like Christ loves the church. 

[5] he said that one of the biggest ways that Jesus served his disciples was by washing their feet... so, he got up from his chair, got down on his knees and began washing my feet (thank goodness i had a pedicure the week before!).

[6] i started putting my shoes back on and then looked back at sean and he was holding a box with a ring inside of it and asked me to be his wife!

[7] i freaked out... and said yes (of course).

[8] and now we are planning a wedding for may 2011!

 we are so excited and thrilled to begin this season together and are so ready to be married!

just a thought.

change of scenery.

tonight is my last night of sleeping in my bed for a while, because i'm off to move across the state! there are so many emotions going on right now, which is why- instead of sleeping right now, i am awake in bed, with the urge to write. i am 100% excited about my apartment, my sweet roommates, and my amazing friends- yet at the same time i am just so sad that i am leaving charleston. home. security.

today i stopped by my church to give sean and some other guys who were doing yard work (in 100 degree heat, no less) some sonic slushies and then to hang out in the office for a bit before i ran a few more errands and on my way out of the office i just started crying. not even cute crying (because i am convinced that actually does exist- i also know that i do not possess the skills to "cute cry")... just plain old trying not to hyperventilate crying and just trying to get out of the door before the intense water works occurred... not my best moment.

so now, the scene hasn't really changed too much- i'm in the house i've grown up in. sitting in my "big girl bed" that i have had since i was 5. trying not to cry and feel so sad that i'm leaving.

however, in all of this i am realizing that there is something so incredibly wrong with this picture. in my sadness i continue to try and rely on myself to feel better instead of throwing my pain and sadness to my Father who can heal all. i would sincerely ask for your prayers as sean and i once again make the transition from living in the same city to living across the state from one another- this set up isn't exactly favorable, however, it is just for a season. i am constantly having to remind myself that even though i may have great skills in planning- i certainly don't want to be the one planning my life on my own terms- that just sounds like it is destined for trouble.

thank you for listening... or reading sweet friends- i resting in the fact that He is in control over all things and that i am being provided for.

 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. -Matthew 6: 25- 34

please excuse my lack of blogging as of late, i've been incredibly busy with finals, packing, and just generally trying to stay sane! 

just a thought.

a change of perspective.

as i am writing this post, i have no idea what i am going to write. today has been, for a lack of a better word, rough. there have been crazy emotions, lots of tears, and honestly, for the most part i have just been wishing that i could crawl back into the solitude of my bed and hide under the covers to let the storm pass, however, that hasn't been an option- life continues to go on with or without my permission. which then brings me back to square one. timing. i have this problem, i would like to call it sin. because that is what it is. i am a sinner. i would rather take things, put them in a box, and then open them and arrange them how i see fit... but that is not the answer. i am not my rule maker. i am not the Perfect planner. i am not the Creator of the universe... thankfully, those titles have been fulfilled and that role is taken by Him. in all things, in all walks of my life, on whatever path He leads me- i am not alone. i have a Comforter, Healer, and King walking along the path with me. and for that i am eternally grateful.

even when my walk is not as it should be, being honest right now- it isn't... and in all things He is getting the glory- me falling apart right now? all because i am trying to run my life without Him... fail. my sin? trying to plan, create, and run things on my own time-line. not okay. when things don't go by my time, i should be praising Him- because my spectrum of sight is so small... i mean for real, think about it- would you rather have someone who has been around since the beginning of time planning your life or someone who has been on the earth for 20 years? ... i know- tough choice. when i start to feel the need for control i need to step back, take a deep breath, and gain some perspective.

tonight, while the world was going crazy around me, the only thing i could think about was praying. though i didn't even have the words to pray- i just felt my heart open and flood gates (literally) coming from my eyes. His provisions have provided me with people to pour into my life and my heart, and i was able to talk to a dear friend for a while and just have her pray for me, my family, and for sean and just cover us in prayer. at the end of our conversation i just felt relief and happiness. big sighs of relief and an ability to take deep breaths. i am so thankful for Him and the people that he has put into my life. i am also thankful for the catharsis of being able to write... i also apologize for the errors and typos that are all over this post, though, to be honest, i just don't feel like going back and editing them right now... maybe later... maybe. i don't know what it is about writing for me, but it has always been a way for me to get out my thoughts so that i can actually see what i am thinking... though sometimes i am not always so happy with what i find.

one thing that is for certain is that God is sovereign and has His hand over all things, sees my weakness and is here to comfort and protect me. i pray that i will not be so quick to be a negative nancy... but would, instead, try and be a postive patty in all that i do. thanks friends for reading this and thanks in advance for praying. i am still trying to work through issues my parents have with each other and trying to deal with the effects of that and how that looks in my life- sometimes it is easier than others. i do know, that my Father is here, with me, has penned the perfect story for my life- and that, is how i find rest. 

praise God from whom all blessings flow; praise Him, all creatures here below, praise Him above ye heavenly host; praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. amen.

for His glory until the end.

just a thought.

boone hall+dinner.

for our one year date sean and i went to boone hall plantation- it is about 3 minutes from my house, i've been there a few times (sean didn't know that-however, when you live that close to something- you're bound to go on a field trip or two) but sean hadn't ever been there, so it was fun! we got to walk around the property, , take a tour of the house (beautiful), see a gullah presentation (which was interesting and also funny), take a little carriage tour of the place, and look at some horses... a major bonus to the day was that the weather was so beautiful- seriously- weather in charleston on the 3rd of july is not beautiful... you certainly don't get to walk around at leisure outside... but we did. it was wonderful. perfection.  

[sidenote: recognize the house in the picture? it is ali's house from the notebook... yep- i actually heard a girl say, "just the fact that the notebook was filmed here makes me like it"... oh, pop culture.]

that morning sean surprised me by having roses around my house and a jewelry tree filled with notes on it (so great, plus i get to use the tree to hang jewelry!) and a vase of flowers beside it! after walking around the plantation we went to california dreaming for supper... it is my favorite place in the whole-wide world... ok, so maybe not the whole-wide world- but pretty close. i had a delicious chicken dish and it was fabulous. all in all, a perfect saturday was had by all! it was so wonderful!

just a thought.

four seasons.

today marks the day that sean and i started dating a year ago- so i just thought that i would take some time to recognize that on my blog. we always talked about dating in "seasons" and looking forward to completing "four seasons" with each other because in that span of time we would really get to know different sides of one another- let me just disclaimer that at times i am not always incredibly pleasant to deal with- but sean has been a champ and loved me and encouraged me! about the pictures:

[summer] this picture was taken in my foyer of my house right before sean took me out for my birthday dinner last summer.

[fall] we spent halloween in chapin because that's sean's step-dad's birthday- we carved a pumpkin and named him charlie- this was one of many pictures that we took with our pumpkin!

[winter] this picture was also taken in chapin over valentine's day weekend- it snowed all over the state of south carolina, but the columbia area got the most snow. every tree around us was covered in snow- it looked like a christmas card!

[spring] this one is from my friend maegan's wedding up in clemson- believe it or not this is one of the few pictures i have of us from this season- glad i at least have this one!

i can truly say that this past year has flown by! i can remember the exact details of our first date like it was yesterday. (however, in 50 years i'm sure they'll be a little fuzzy!) i'm so thankful for this man and his leadership in our relationship! thanks for letting me share a little bit about me!

just a thought.

decorating dilemma.

this past weekend i went to maegan and jordan's wedding- it was such a great day- here are just a few of my pictures- the wedding was held at magnolia manor in westminster, south carolina.

there aren't a lot of pictures- but these are just a few! it was such a special day and i am so glad that i was able to share it with them!

in other news- i have been trying to figure out some decorating ideas for my apartment- i have a fun orange and white shower curtain from potterybarn that i bought on super sale a long, long time ago but just had to have it and now i need things to go with it- it is a classy curtain so i wanted something classy that i could use for a while with it. i found this lovely set of bathroom goods from potterybarn (way too expensive but i just couldn't help myself) and i wanted to get it- luckily i have been trying to shop around because that is just more than this college kid can afford and i read some reviews that said it rusted after a few days... that's right- days not months or after several uses... my hopes and dreams of my bathroom have crashed and burned... it is a good thing that i went to marshall's today and found some bathroom stuff that i really liked- now i just need to make the trip back and buy it! here is what i wanted to get:

isn't it festive? i think that it would have looked great in the bathroom... i wasn't going to buy all of that- mostly because that would be ridiculously expensive... and also because that would have been too much for me- but i liked the overall look of things. i think i'm going to stick with the heavy glass soap and 2 canisters from marshall's- a whole lot cheaper and will look just as clean and classy.

i'm trying to find some cheap furniture for my apartment that i can either refinish or paint a new color in order to make it functional for my life. i have a big problem with buying pieces that i don't think i'll be able to use in my "real-life" or "adult-life" as i like to call it, just because i'll be graduating in just 3 semesters (which is crazy).

on monday afternoon i helped my friend rachel anne (pictured above) decorate her new apartment! we lined all of the shelves and cabinets with some festive contact paper and then hung some pictures on her wall to make it feel more at home- i think that it turned out pretty well! (please excuse the horrible quality... this is from my phone)



oh man- this post is much longer than previously planned... starting my position at the church today! i'm so excited and encouraged to be working with the children's ministry this summer- it is such a great place to be!

just a thought.

and forget not all His benefits

praise the LORD, o my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. praise the LORD, o my soul, and forget not all His benefits- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

-psalm 103: 1-5

wow, what a refreshing passage! how often do i stop and praise Him for the blessings that have been bestowed upon me? how often do i think about what i have and what others lack and fall on my face and praise His name? let me tell you the answer: not nearly enough. there is no way that i could ever count the blessings that have been bestowed upon me: i go to a wonderful college, i have incredible friends, i have the love of my life to stand beside me and support me, i have a wonderful mom who supports me, i have enough food to eat, a comfortable bed to sleep in, the list goes on and on and on. and yet, when i look at myself and at my life do i see the great things or do i look for things that could make it better?

sure, things could always be better, that’s just a fact of life. there are only two things that people hate: change and when things stay the same. [how’s that for human nature?] while things could always be better, i am reminded that things could always be worse. i could be [alone], i could live in a world [without] hope, i could wake up every morning knowing that i am the one that has to be in control of my future. thankfully i have hope in Jesus Christ, i rest in the fact that i am built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness. because of Christ the pressure is off. the debt has been paid, my slate has been wiped clean and i am free to praise Him and bring glory to the Father, yet i fail at that daily.

prayer of praise: thank-you Father for giving me life, giving me love, and showing me compassion, so that i may show it to the world around me. thank-you for holding me close to you and guiding my steps, so that i do not have to walk alone. praise to be You and You alone, Abba Father.

take some time to praise Him for the blessings in your life, if you're anything like me you'll feel humbled at all of the blessings that you've been given, and at the same time feel guilty for ever feeling entitled for more. praise be to Him that we can never be separated from His love that covers all.

for i am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

-romans 8:38-39

[supportive] family.

[wonderful] best friend (boyfriend).

and the list [goes on and on].

i have been blessed.

just a thought.