tonight is my last night of sleeping in my bed for a while, because i'm off to move across the state! there are so many emotions going on right now, which is why- instead of sleeping right now, i am awake in bed, with the urge to write. i am 100% excited about my apartment, my sweet roommates, and my amazing friends- yet at the same time i am just so sad that i am leaving charleston. home. security.
today i stopped by my church to give sean and some other guys who were doing yard work (in 100 degree heat, no less) some sonic slushies and then to hang out in the office for a bit before i ran a few more errands and on my way out of the office i just started crying. not even cute crying (because i am convinced that actually does exist- i also know that i do not possess the skills to "cute cry")... just plain old trying not to hyperventilate crying and just trying to get out of the door before the intense water works occurred... not my best moment.
so now, the scene hasn't really changed too much- i'm in the house i've grown up in. sitting in my "big girl bed" that i have had since i was 5. trying not to cry and feel so sad that i'm leaving.
however, in all of this i am realizing that there is something so incredibly wrong with this picture. in my sadness i continue to try and rely on myself to feel better instead of throwing my pain and sadness to my Father who can heal all. i would sincerely ask for your prayers as sean and i once again make the transition from living in the same city to living across the state from one another- this set up isn't exactly favorable, however, it is just for a season. i am constantly having to remind myself that even though i may have great skills in planning- i certainly don't want to be the one planning my life on my own terms- that just sounds like it is destined for trouble.
thank you for listening... or reading sweet friends- i resting in the fact that He is in control over all things and that i am being provided for.
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. -Matthew 6: 25- 34
please excuse my lack of blogging as of late, i've been incredibly busy with finals, packing, and just generally trying to stay sane!
just a thought.